I pulled the first towel from the basket of clean laundry. Double in half…double over again…triple fold. Rote repetition, but this day I was somehow more focused. Present in the moment.
I extract another lavender-scented towel from the mound. Double…double again…triple fold.
What’s that I feel….?
Something’s changed within me. Could it be?
Allow me to turn back the time with you to nearly a year ago…
My husband had just returned from his second deployment to Iraq. During the year he’d been overseas, the children and I moved to Tennessee. Life was stressful because of the deployment, but with every passing month, I felt more as though we were carving out our home in a new place.
I became involved at church. For the first time in a very long time, I finally felt like I belonged; my life had purpose and meaning.
And then it was all ripped away.
When my husband returned home, he went back to work and moved the children and me back to Louisiana.
I was miserable. Sad. Angry. Resentful.
How could God pluck me from the place where I’d grown so much in a year’s time, only to replant me back in the place where I did not want to be? How dare He?!
And then there was the one question that haunted my every waking moment: If God really loves me, how could He do this to me?
Mourning filled the days. I cried myself asleep many nights, begging God to return me to that place of safety and love.
But it didn’t happen.
Grief replaced joy. And I truly didn’t believe I’d experience joy again.
I was wrong. God’s ways are so much higher than our own.
In January, I joined a challenge to read the Bible through in 90 days. God pulled out His brillo pad and started scrubbing away the grime and crud caked on my heart.
Then last week, I started reading Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts. With each chapter read, my vision becomes clearer. Oh, what miraculous changes are happening in me!!
Each day, my list of God Gifts grows. I’m starting to finally see the little gifts I’m blessed with every single day.
I’m learning to live in the moment.
I’m no longer wishing away every day, longing to be in some other space.
I’m learning to live in grace. I’m learning to be thankful—in everything. I’m re-birthing joy!
Funny, how God brings awareness in the simplest of things. Like finding joy in the laundry.